{"id":83,"date":"2018-08-30T15:32:42","date_gmt":"2018-08-30T15:32:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tnf13stories.wordpress.com\/?p=83"},"modified":"2020-07-24T18:47:17","modified_gmt":"2020-07-24T23:47:17","slug":"your-arguments-against-pedophiles-debunked","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aboutpedophilia.com\/2018\/08\/30\/your-arguments-against-pedophiles-debunked\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Arguments Against Pedophiles\u2026 DEBUNKED!"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I have been on Twitter for a long time, and I have seen a range of arguments being presented to pedophiles. Chances are, if you are arguing with me, I have addressed what you have said before. Some of your points are logical, some are not, and some are based in a misunderstanding of the topic in general and what my goals are. I am also very familiar with critical thinking, and having seen many, if not most, of these arguments, I cannot say they make much sense to me.<\/p>\n

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Because a lot of these arguments are based around an unclear idea of what pedophilia is, and most importantly, what it is not, here is a long list of arguments that people make against pedophiles (those with the attraction), pedophilia (the attraction), and why those arguments do not make sense.<\/p>\n

1: Pedophilia Is Immoral<\/h4>\n

This is probably the most common argument, next to \u201cgo kill yourself,\u201d and \u201cpedophiles should die,\u201d which of course are not arguments at all, and so they will not even be addressed. Pedophilia, of course, refers to the sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children. As a sexual attraction, it is an unchosen characteristic, and as such, is not really subject to morality. Think about it: Do we believe Down\u2019s Syndrome is immoral? ADHD? Homosexuality (the attraction)? Of course not, it would be ridiculous. This is why I sometimes compare pedophilia to autism: Both are not chosen characteristics.<\/p>\n

2: You Want To Have Sex With Kids<\/h4>\n

This is more an accusation than it is an argument, and as I have discussed here<\/a> (discussing risk), here<\/a> (discussing my history as a sexual abuse survivor), and here<\/a> (discussing attractions and child protection), no, I do not want to have sex with kids, no matter how vulgarly you state that. So, this is actually a straw-man argument for anti-contact pedophiles. Being anti-contact means we recognize that being sexual with children is harmful to them, and that sexual abuse\/exploitation in all its forms\u200a\u2014\u200aimagery or otherwise\u200a\u2014\u200aneeds to end.<\/p>\n

3: Pedophilia Is Gross\/A Mental Illness\/A Sickness<\/h4>\n

Actually, this is a misconception that is perpetrated by the media as well as well-meaning psychology groups: Sexual attraction does not give someone a disorder, and a disorder is defined as something that significantly interferes with someone\u2019s day-to-day life. That interference can happen in a variety of ways: Difficulty with social interaction, with learning, with basic function, etc. A disorder in the mental health world means that someone is having troubles.<\/p>\n

It is possible to have a sexual attraction and not have those troubles. It is very possible to have the attraction, and not view yourself negatively for it. It is even more possible to choose not to act on the attraction by harming a child. It is possible to have a sexual attraction and form age-appropriate relationships with adults. My point here is that a mental illness, or disorder, is not the same as attraction. While that may be a nuanced point, we need to be accurate in how we understand this issue.<\/p>\n

4: You Need Psychiatric Help<\/h4>\n

This argument is more nuanced, and partly based off the previous point. However, the fact of the matter is that the sexual attraction to children cannot change<\/a>. No level of medication, including chemical castration, can change the primary attraction. This begs the question, why does any pedophile need medication? Will it mysteriously help their ability to recognize (as most do) that behaving sexually with a child is wrong?<\/p>\n

Psychiatrists are people that prescribe medication, so perhaps what is meant by this argument is that pedophiles need to somehow stop being attracted to children. Given that the attraction itself is not immoral (see point number one), and that there is no way to change the attraction, whatever help that professionals can provide, like the help I received<\/a>, will usually revolve around accepting and not stigmatizing the sexual attraction to children, finding ways to manage sexuality in healthy, legal ways, if that has not already been done.<\/p>\n

As if that<\/em> is not enough, I should also point out that most pedophiles do not struggle with sexual attraction and not molesting children. That is the easy part, see, because we care too much about children to harm them (mostly). More often, pedophiles struggle with self-hate, depression, anxiety, drug addiction, and a range of seemingly unrelated issues. For more on this point, see here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

5: Pedophilia Is A Behavior<\/h4>\n

No, it is an attraction. Attraction and behavior are two separate things. No expert on this issue views pedophilia as a behavior rather than an attraction. More on this in a similar section.<\/p>\n

6: You Are Defending Pedophilia<\/h4>\n

I am not quite sure what that means. Do you think you could explain it, without it ending up at point number 2 (erroneously assuming I want to sexually abuse children)? Are religious conservatives who hate on those with homosexuality \u201cdefending\u201d heterosexuality? Do you suppose that pedophilia, being an attraction that affects less than 10% of the population, will magically get more prominent if we recognize the facts about this issue? I do not defend child sexual abuse, I seek to prevent it. Yes, I think child rapists need to be caught and adjudicated, but I also think we need to prevent abuse before it gets to that point.<\/p>\n

7: You Are Not Actually Attracted To Children<\/h4>\n
Source.<\/a> CC0 Creative Commons stock image.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Usually, this takes some form of denial: Implying that the people I am attracted to just somehow\u2026 look<\/em> younger, and therefore I just think<\/em> I like children. This argument is typically applied to younger MAPs, though I have heard it once myself. So, let me ask you: Do you suppose the two boys to the left are adults? No, of course not. The reality is, yes, I am attracted to children. Both boys are within the age I am attracted to. And no, I do not want to have sex with them, because that would be harmful to them.<\/p>\n

A large part of this argument is that young MAPs do not really know<\/em> that they are attracted to children, they just think<\/em> they are, so joining MAP communities is not really appropriate for them. I disagree, and so does Ender Wiggin<\/a> in his recent post on the subject<\/a>. Sexuality is somewhat fluid when you are a teenager, but that does not mean we should sell the false hope that a 13-year-old attracted to five-year-old children will somehow \u201cgrow out of it.\u201d Another vein of thought is that people are attracted to children because [some nice-sounding psychological garbage, ie, afraid of adult intimacy, easier to relate to children, daddy was not in the picture, etc.]. However, no one knows why<\/em> pedophiles are attracted to children, and being sexually abused is also not a reason.<\/p>\n

8: You Are Harming Children<\/h4>\n

This argument usually implies that by merely having non-sexual, perfectly appropriate contact with children, a pedophile is somehow harming them. In other words, the idea that thinking about children, or having fantasies about them, is somehow inherently harmful to children. Pedophiles do not have psychic powers (no human does). The best information we have from experts is that fantasy is a perfectly healthy outlet for most<\/em> people, and does not increase the risk of acting on them absent other mental health issues:<\/p>\n