With that being said, here is what I will share because I think these items do need a whistleblower:

• MAP Support Club senior staff are slow to make obvious moderation decisions, if they’re made at all, even when failure to do so puts the community’s safety at risk. Every single detail is put to a vote, which contributes to the slowness.
• I have pushed for safeguarding policy and more transparent staff moderation policies/procedures, which have been sat on for over a year with nothing being implemented or discussed, even while it would speed up moderation decisions.
• MAP Support Club staff have repeatedly resisted implementing a rule whereby staff members are not allowed to go off-platform with minor members, which is common to many youth-serving organizations. While this has not yet caused any serious issue, not implementing such a rule is irresponsible and so is actively fighting it.
• New members aren’t vetted as carefully as they should be and concerns are dismissed or disregarded. Part of this is lack of staff, but only a small part.
• The senior staff team alienated two returning guides that had been there less than two weeks to the point they resigned.
• I don’t feel supported by the senior leadership of MAP Support Club and I don’t feel their decisions are transparent, responsible, or safe for the community. I know I’m not alone in that.

There are many more reasons why I am resigning that I cannot go into detail on because it would put the community’s member’s safety at risk. I have spent a lot of time, money, and effort advocating for the MAP community and rather than receiving support or the community coming together to organize against the unjustified bigotry, people insist on scrutinizing such advocates such that any decision made feels like the wrong one – while doing nothing productive besides. It isn’t worth the anguish and frustration. When you put as much time, money, and effort into things as I have, you expect the people you’re doing it for to support you and help you along the way. The MAP community and MAP Support Club especially has not done that. I’m exhausted, frustrated, and just plain done. I can’t support others when I’m this disillusioned and exhausted.

MAP Support Club has no reasonable accountability. There is no process by which I can make a reasonable appeal to someone in charge and have my concerns heard and quickly acted on. That leaves me the only recourse of calling out what I believe are failures on the part of the leadership team in this public manner. I believe it would be irresponsible to observe these failures and stay silent about these failures. I would hope that the staff focus on righting these wrongs rather than grandstanding to MAP Support Club members.

If ventures like MAP Support Club are to succeed long term, they need a proper organizational structure with clearly defined rules, policies, and procedures that people are familiar with and follow, where the entire staff team takes the initiative to get things done rather than relying so heavily on a single person’s contribution. MAP Support Club had periods in the last two years where it would have been wiser to make many channels read-only and stop accepting invites to give staff time and space to put those structures in place. They chose not to. Organization and leadership should be the proper next steps, not joking about a coup or being dictator. Advocacy and support is serious work and the more hands that help improve things for everybody. I don’t know if that can happen with the current team without some serious hard work and fresh perspectives that are heard and actioned.

I am done advocating for minor-attracted people, I am done in MAP Support Club, and I sincerely hope they can get their shit together so that minor-attracted people can get the support and civility we deserve. Continuing these failures will continue to make that an uphill battle. Someone else will need to take over Pedophiles About Pedophilia in the next year.

To those of you who believe in MAP Support Club and the idea of better supports for minor-attracted people, I think there are a lot of cultural things that must change in order to make that idea a reality. I feel like I’m failing you by resigning, at the same time I have tried for years to beg the community to better support its most prominent advocates and to organize better to be more effective, to no avail and little concrete action. There is no teamwork, there is the hard work of single individuals like Bly, Ender, and myself and those people stay in it until we burn out. This is not a healthy environment to do advocacy work in and that must change.

To the antis, haters, and people who think there’s something nefarious going on behind the scenes: If you want to help protect children, go actually learn the issue before you talk out of your asshole. If you can’t put in the time, then fuck you and keep your mouth shut. Keeping people from support or demanding support that’s unethical isn’t protecting children, it’s making primary prevention work harder.

The post My departure from MAP Support Club and the MAP community appeared first on Pedophiles About Pedophilia.

Definition

Pedophilia is best understood as the sexual attraction to prepubertal children, though colloquially it has come to mean sexual abuse as well. Those who use the phrase “normalizing pedophilia” want there to be ambiguity between sexual attraction to taboo populations and the sexual violence perpetrated against those populations. This is part of the reason why far-right extremists love to levy accusations of pedophilia against their opponents: They know that people will stop thinking and start siding with them. It’s an intentional ploy to drive wedges and manipulate people.

This is where the phrase gets even murkier – again on purpose. Normalizing. When we think of normalizing something, we typically think of attempts to make something mainstream, or to lead something to being widely accepted and normal. This is a phrase that does not really have purpose in areas adjacent to mental health. Nobody discusses the normalization of autism because it sounds ridiculous. We can’t force people to have autism or to saying that they have autism. The same principle goes with depression, anxiety, and any other mental health condition.

We don’t talk about normalizing these things because we recognize that they are unchosen conditions that happen quite outside of anyone’s volition. Nobody chooses to have depression, anxiety, autism, or other mental health conditions. Yet we recognize the need to destigmatize these conditions because people with them need support and allowing freer discussion of them assists these people in finding that support.

Not A Mental Health Issue

While there are of course similarities between pedophilia and mental health conditions, they are not the same thing. The DSM-5 (the diagnostic manual for mental health conditions) draws a clear distinction between those who have the diagnosable condition of pedophilic disorder, the mental health condition, and those with the attraction itself – pedophilia. While pedophilia the attraction is neutral, pedophilic disorder is not neutral and can be classified as unhealthy.

The DSM-5 describes pedophilic disorder as meeting several diagnostic criteria, of which pedophilia the attraction is one of the requirements. The other requirements for diagnosis are distress felt due to having pedophilia and the societal stigma (hatred/misunderstanding) towards those with pedophilia or alternatively, someone who acts on their attractions in illegal ways. In other words, pedophilia is not a mental health condition.

However, pedophilia the attraction is quite clearly not a choice (who would choose to be attracted to children) and just as clearly is not something that can be changed, only managed and treated.

Again though, to discuss making this attraction normal is preposterous and quite obviously not what is meant by the phrase “normalizing pedophilia.”

The Intent

The true intent behind the phrase is to subtly suggest that there is an organized effort to make child sexual abuse acceptable, and to infer that those the phrase is levied at are part of such an organized effort. However, this is a conspiracy theory. There is no formal, organized effort to promote the idea that children can safely be involved in sexual relationships with older children or adults. The people who do promote these ideas have nothing to do with this site, with Virtuous Pedophiles, MAP Support Club, Prostasia Foundation, or any of the conspiracy theorist’s other targets.

The phrase “normalize pedophilia” is simply the same conspiracy theories peddled by the far-right in their fascist attempts to control people. It’s an empty attempt to anger, not a legitimate concern that requires resources to address.

How To Take Action

With all of that said, here’s a few things you can do when you see this phrase come up:

1. Ask yourself who’s using the phrase and why and whether they can be trusted.
2. If this is online, ignore those using the phrase or block them.
3. If this is in real life, ask those using this phrase what they mean. Now watch them squirm as they try to explain it.
4. Donate your time and money to efforts to educate the public about child sexual abuse and minor attraction.
5. Seek out communities of minor-attracted people and pedophiles and offer your support.

The post Normalizing Pedophilia Is Bullshit appeared first on Pedophiles About Pedophilia.

I was 14 years old when my life changed forever. That was when I realized that the ages of people I was attracted to weren’t increasing as I got older. I found myself catching feelings for the younger siblings of the peers I had found attractive two or three years prior. Scarier still, the lower bound of these ages seemed to be decreasing. I began to experience attractions to kids as young as 8 years old.

Being a teenager with internet access, my initial reaction was to go online looking for answers. What was wrong with me? What should I do about it? This went well at first; I quickly ended up on the Virtuous Pedophiles website, which helped me realize that I wasn’t alone in being a pedophile with no interest in acting on my attractions. As I continued to search I ended up on Twitter, and things went downhill pretty quickly. I saw post after post calling minor-attracted people and pedophiles evil, portraying them as monsters, and even advocating for genocide. I came away convinced that my attractions were inherently bad and dangerous and that any attempt to look for help or support would only expose me to the same hatred I saw online.

Over the next three years, I spiraled as I desperately tried to convince myself that I wasn’t attracted to kids. I hoped that if I buried that part of myself deep enough it would just go away. As anyone with basic knowledge of thought suppression or sexuality could have predicted, that only made my attractions feel stronger and seem more overwhelming, and my mental health suffered as a result. I felt isolated, unable to confide in my closest friends or family members, and at one point began drafting suicide notes in my head, perhaps hoping that if I explained what I was going through in that context it would be enough to make someone care and understand, or at the very least, sympathize. I never reached the point of actually intending to harm myself, but if I hadn’t gotten help when I did, it’s very likely that I wouldn’t be here to write this today.

Things culminated when I was 17, after I came across a video about another teenage pedophile whose parents placed him in an abusive “treatment” program centered around conversion therapy and assumed guilt. Of course, the media heralded them as heroes, and I, not knowing any better at the time, believed that they were. This brought years of shame and self-hate rushing back to the surface, and I spent several more weeks frantically searching the internet looking for someone, anyone, who would understand and want to help. Unfortunately, I overlooked a number of resources that would likely have helped me because I wrongly believed there was something wrong with me that needed to be fixed. Despite this, I came across MAP Support Club in late 2020. After a couple of days of hesitation and second-guessing, I came up with the name Elliot Porter and filled out the application.

In the Community

It’s been over a year since I submitted that form, and since then my life has changed so drastically for the better that it’s sometimes hard for me to believe. I’ve accepted myself both as a pedophile and as gay. Ironically, the latter took longer for me to accept because the stress and attempts at thought suppression from being a pedophile made it difficult for me to recognize and come to terms with other aspects of my sexuality. I have a loving boyfriend who accepts me for who I am and I’m out as a pedophile to several friends from high school who are also supportive. I’ve also made dozens of friends in the MAP community through support groups and social media.

I first started doing activism aimed at reducing stigma and helping other minor-attracted people find support on Twitter in December 2020 and quickly found myself drawn to the work. Publicly speaking out in defense of other minor-attracted people and the community as a whole forced me to recognize and address my own internalized stigma and anti-MAP biases I had picked up from society and the media over the previous 17 years of my life. I also became more knowledgeable on minor attractions and support for minor-attracted people as I looked into the relevant research in order to strengthen my arguments. At the same time, I fell in love with my favorite part of activism: Helping others in the same position I was in at age 14 find a community to provide them with acceptance and support.

For any activist supporting marginalized groups, censorship comes with the territory. This is especially true for minor-attracted people, as social media companies and other platforms use widespread misinformation as an excuse to cut off a vital source of support for vulnerable teenagers and adults and see such an action as nothing more than an optics boost. As the banned accounts started to stack up I realized that I could do more good with a more permanent list of resources for minor-attracted people in need of support. Initially, I planned to make a separate Twitter account specifically for sharing resources, but after Twitter made it clear that their platform isn’t a safe space to support marginalized groups, I decided to make a website instead. As a result, on February 1st, 2021, MAP Resources was born.

Building a Website

In the year since I first shared the link to MAP Resources publicly, it has grown from a single page with a few links into a collection of resources designed to help as many MAPs as possible. With the help of dozens of minor-attracted people and our allies along the way, I’ve created a summary of research on minor-attracted people and minor attractions, a dictionary of common MAP-related terms, and even dedicated pages with advice and support for minor-attracted minors and friends and family members of MAPs. Throughout all of these projects, however, my primary goal has remained the same: Ensuring any MAP can find safe and effective support when they need it. The most important element of working on the website has always been finding and evaluating new resources to share.

Due to my activism and role in the MAP community, I’m constantly on the lookout for new support resources for minor-attracted people. Whenever I become aware of one, I review it before I consider listing it on MAP Resources. When I review, I look for stigmatizing language or misinformation about MAPs, efforts to promote harmful “treatments” such as conversion therapy, and any use of fearmongering to convince people that they need support. Resources that contain any of these are not ones I’m willing to promote, as the stigma does more harm than good. During this review process, however, I also learn a lot about the resources themselves, giving me a unique perspective into the underlying trends in the availability of support for minor-attracted people who are struggling with their attractions.

The State of Support for Minor-Attracted People

First, the good news: Support opportunities for minor-attracted people are more abundant than ever before and the body of research on effective support for MAPs is continuing to grow. Over the past two years, numerous new resources have become available, including Help Wanted and Talking for Change, both of which are support resources intended for minor-attracted people and created by sexual abuse prevention experts. There also appears to be a growing focus on supporting minor MAPs, a particularly vulnerable and undersupported population, as demonstrated by both Help Wanted and What’s OK?, a website from StopItNow! where teenagers and young adults can learn and ask questions about sexual thoughts and behaviors.

There is still room for improvement in a number of areas when it comes to support available to MAPs. The biggest area for improvement is the pushback against any efforts to support minor-attracted people from misinformed and blatantly bigoted individuals. Despite overwhelming evidence that access to support can reduce the likelihood of offending, some groups would rather use children as pawns in order to silence minorities rather than actually protect the children they claim to care about. This uses fearmongering to stifle research into and expert discussion on support for MAPs. These stigma-based attacks have already caused demonstrable harm by forcing a researcher focused on preventing child sexual abuse to step down from their position earlier this year.

Additionally, efforts to support minor-attracted people continue to consist mainly of programs with an end goal of preventing child abuse. A reduced risk of abuse is a side effect of minor-attracted people receiving support, but these programs often present that support as a “necessary evil” in their efforts to prevent abuse. This can cause minor-attracted people to feel taken advantage of or viewed as a risk. Research suggests that minor-attracted people are less likely to pursue support from programs that seem to designate them as a risk, so by supporting MAPs for the sole purpose of preventing abuse, the individuals behind these programs undermine their own work.

The overall trends in support for MAPs are positive, as mental health, sexuality, and even sexual abuse prevention experts are increasingly focusing on supporting the mental health of minor-attracted people and reducing the stigma that causes many to need support in the first place. The MAP community itself is growing and attracting the attention of more MAPs, allies, experts, and even journalists, increasing the number of people who are aware of the support available to them. As public knowledge of minor-attracted people continues to grow, so too will the availability of resources and support. As always, MAP Resources, myself, and others in the community will continue working to ensure all MAPs can find and benefit from these new resources, as well as existing ones.

The post A Year of Supporting Minor-Attracted People appeared first on Pedophiles About Pedophilia.

A Brief Note On Terminology

As always, I use the term ‘pedophile’ to mean someone with an attraction to children and ‘pedophilia’ to mean the attraction to children itself. This attraction can be sexual, romantic, and/or emotional. This is entirely separate from child sexual abuse, child pornography (I prefer the term ‘sexually harmful imagery’), and other sexual crimes against children.

Anti-contact and pro-contact refer to the positions MAPs take on the morality of being sexual with children and what they think society should believe. Anti-contact MAPs take the position that people should not be sexual with children, while pro-contacts believe there may be some circumstances where it would be okay. Contact-neutral refers to people who do not have a strong opinion. You can read more about contact ideology here.

Starting Points The General Public Remembers

This is a throwback to years upon years ago, before the advent of technology and the internet. It used to be there were magazines – yes, magazines you could subscribe to – that had images that today are considered to be child pornography, and rightfully so. So, already, what the general public will remember is that from their perspective, “pedophiles had acceptance then and look what happened.” The thing is, we were not accepted then either. This is because people confused us with people who molest children, and still do. 

Two main groups formed during this time PIE (Pedophile Information Exchange) in Europe and NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association) and their focus was primarily on making sexual activity between adults and children legal and acceptable. When most people think about pedophiles, this is what they remember – even though these were products of around 1975 through roughly 1995. NAMBLA lost any influence in the mid-1990’s and is effectively defunct, and PIE was defunct by the mid-1980’s and disbanded in 1984.

With the advent of the internet and personal computing becoming affordable and easily accessible, these magazines eventually became websites, which led to what we now call the ‘dark web problem’ or the issue of illicit and illegal images and videos of real children being easily available if one knows where and how to look, and the sad thing is, it is not that hard to find even today. I am, as always, unwilling to go into any detail on the ease of access because that information can easily be misused or worse, construed as encouraging people to access illegal content. That is the part the public remembers about us, and it requires acknowledging those facts for both the public and the MAP community to move forward in seeking actual acceptance.

Sidebar: What Is Actual Acceptance?

You could call it a ‘No True Scotsman’ but it is really the acceptance of someone for who they are, acknowledging that they cannot control or change it. Well, in this case, I am referring to the attraction only as being part of ‘who someone is’ not their behavior, though to some extent, some behavior is reasonable when you accept that attraction to children is not changeable or controllable. I mean behavior like seeking out ethical, non-harmful, law-abiding methods of managing any sexual aspect of this attraction like shotacon, lolicon, and fictional materials in general. I mean behavior like spending time with children in positive group settings that demonstrate we aren’t a risk to children. I mean behavior like talking about our attractions to better understand ourselves and the world around us. Behavior like creating and joining MAP communities that are law-abiding and there for support. These are all normal behaviors that should not be stigmatized.

I would say that actual acceptance is not the acceptance of children being abused, nor the acceptance of using nude/pornographic images of real children, but the acceptance of our attractions and the burdens and struggles that attraction can cause us. We can complain about the stigma and how the stigma arises from the public not understanding us, but we must also be willing to take the time to adequately educate the public and prove to the public that we do care about children enough to protect them in our current endeavors.

A Brief Note On Drama And Its Absence From This History

The more recent history of minor-attracted people is nuanced and full of drama, both from an insider and an outsider perspective. Much of the drama is not centered around illegal behavior, but drama that just looks suspicious. These are incidents that law enforcement was no doubt made aware of due to social media, but it has been years since and anyone involved in these drama incidents have continued to be heard from in various spaces, so it is reasonable to assume that they were never charged/convicted even if they were ever investigated (if they were in the first place).

A great example of this is the Wert situation. In early 2018, we had an individual named Wert in our communities that co-led a MAP server on Discord. This person ‘discovered’ that an account that another MAP followed on Twitter was ‘posting child pornography’ or so they claimed – but it turned out that the account in question only shared images that were dubious in terms of ethics, not images that a judge would rule as child pornography. It is questionable what jurisdictions the content on this Twitter account would have been considered illegal in. Yet Wert went around accusing anyone and everyone of ‘covering up child pornography’ – including the very antis he enlisted to help him in his ‘righteous crusade’ against the evil conspiracy of his own invention. Wert is just one example of such a situation I call ‘drama’ because there is no evidence that he was reporting anything illegal in reality, and lots of evidence that he was having a mental health crisis of some kind. Many tried to help provide him with resources, including myself, to no avail.

So, for those reasons, I will not get into drama incidents because it is irrelevant to the purposes of this article. I give detail on just the one to demonstrate why the drama is less relevant to this article and its purposes.

A Brief Note About Prevention

Prevention, in the world of minor-attracted people, is a controversial word. This is partly because there are organizations that have a primary focus on prevention, meaning that they aim to stop sexual abuse, and treat MAPs poorly because of it. However, prevention in its truest sense encompasses a wider variety of things than just sexual violence when talking about preventing harms. Prevention, more broadly, refers to both primary and tertiary prevention, or the prevention of a harm before it occurs and reduction of harm after it occurs. Examples of primary prevention would be a vaccine, where a tertiary prevention would be washing your hands and wearing a mask. So what harms does prevention seek to… prevent?

In one word, lots. Primary prevention of harm in the MAP world would mean preventing parents, teachers, coworkers, employers, and the general public from having the willingness to harm MAPs simply for being MAPs via a reduction in stigma. It would also mean MAPs having the support they need to not act out in any kind of maladaptive way, not just with child sexual abuse (substance abuse, image-based rabbit holes, suicide attempts, etc). Tertiary prevention in the MAP world would mean assisting MAPs who have been doxxed, outed, and harassed to have support they need to become stable again, assisting those who struggle with image-based rabbit holes cease struggling, and more. In other words, prevention of harms generally is good for both minor-attracted people and the general public – which just so happens to include children, yes, but that isn’t the entire focus when organizations like those that follow use the word prevention.

A History of Recent MAP Organizations

More recently in MAP history working towards the present day:

• B4U-ACT, an organization founded as a non-profit in the United States in 2003 that aims to educate health care providers and the public before they act towards a minor-attracted person(s) so that minor-attracted people can be understood and therefore supported. Since they were founded, they have expanded their activities to include collaborating with and assisting researchers, publishing original research and scholarly reviews, and hosting workshops which bring together MAPs with professionals in various fields, though they started with – and still carry out – the mission to help minor-attracted people find professional support that best fits their needs.
• In 2012-2013, Virtuous Pedophiles joined the space of MAPs working to support other MAPs, fully launching in 2013 as a public internet forum directed at adults who wish to remain law-abiding, the first major support platform to take the position that sexual behavior between children and adults is wrong. Today, Virtuous Pedophiles boasts roughly 6,450 accounts (active and inactive) and has a public-facing website to help explain the concept of a virtuous pedophile to the general public.
• In 2015, Gary Gibson and his wife started a non-profit organization called Association for Sexual Abuse Prevention International, a group aimed similarly to B4U-ACT at educating therapists and helping minor-attracted people connect with mental health professionals who can help support them. ASAP has a list of about 500 therapists who provide services for non-offending pedophiles.
• In November, 2016, MAP Support Chat (now MAP Support Club) was launched on Discord by Ender Wiggin and PedoViking (who sometimes goes by OliverViking), a chat-based support community for minor-attracted people aged 13 and up. Presently, MAP Support Club uses Rocket.Chat software and partners with the child protection organization Prostasia Foundation, who assists with fundraising and safeguarding policy.

Acknowledging MAP’s History And Culture

To anyone who spends the amount of time in MAP communities as I have, it becomes obvious that some of the terms, values, culture, and beyond that are present in current MAP organizations like those I just mentioned. MAP communities have a long history of hiding in the shadows and using very stringent security/privacy practices to remain safe from people who would possibly do them harm.

The biggest cultural aspect of MAP communities is the general ‘paranoia’ in and around them, since we are often targeted with hate, slander, libel, harassment, and even death threats. Because of these risks, MAPs will often hide their real identities so that they can still access support. MAPs have created many guides to protecting anonymity, like this one. This can inadvertently lead to other issues, such as sock puppets, lack of trust and trust-based communities that do not tolerate mistakes or infractions, and other issues.

However, most public-facing MAP organizations present today have one big basis: The fact that long before them came NAMBLA and PIE. You can see these historical trails in the terms used by some elements of the MAP community: Young friend, which can both mean an innocent, platonic relationship between a MAP and a child, and a child who is being sexually abused. Boy lover/girl lover/child lover, all terms that have the connotation of someone who actively ‘loves’ children of one gender or multiple genders, without defining how love is meant. A clean, clear cut between the MAP organizations that face the public today and the kinds of communities that many of us wish did not exist is therefore not entirely possible, no matter how much anti-contact organizations would like there to be such a clean, clear line.

The fact is, some members of our communities are not who they say they are. This ambiguity exists because of our culture of general ‘paranoia’ and the anonymity of the internet. The fact is, some of our members are who they say they are, but hide their beliefs. The fact is, some of our members are who they say they are, do not hide their beliefs, but then their beliefs change over time. The fact is, a MAP community, like any community, is complex and can be both capable of good and bad things – not even necessarily bad things that are sexual in nature. Things like bullying, or failing to properly support someone, or even two close friends having a falling out but who otherwise would not have met without the existence of that community.

With that said, I believe there is a dire need for more MAP communities that are anti-contact in nature. As it is, many anti-contact MAP communities are plagued by pro-contact leaning individuals who seek to undermine anti-contact values, and this ideological warfare, while inevitable, should not continue within anti-contact communities. If I have learned anything from chats that seek to incorporate many ideologies, it is that the ideological contact issue simply causes too much tension for many within mixed-contact communities to be a viable structure for any large community.

An Aside About Fictional Materials

As you may have heard, recently the German law enforcement authorities busted up several communities where sexually harmful imagery was being hosted. What is striking about this bust is that of the 400,000 accounts associated with these communities (singular? plural? it’s unclear), they arrested only four people. As a minor-attracted person, I ask myself why this was a good use of human resources. It took money, time, and people to investigate and execute this bust. For a whopping total of 4 people arrested, I am very certain that more than just those 4 people were risks to children. So working with that assumption, I have a hard question to ask about fictional materials. Hard to hear, and hard to put this out there as a question.

Why is there so much more sexually harmful imagery than fictional material out there to find? Why is it, even if one such as myself is only looking for fictional materials – lolicon, shotacon, CGI art, ships, etc – it is still easy to find places where sexually harmful material is shared? With such large sites that host illegal material, why is fictional material that harms no children illegal in several notable countries like Canada, Australia, the UK, and France? Surely our resources could be better spent investigating the relative gains to be had by improving the accessibility and availability of fictional materials depicting children so that people who do lack a creative imagination can ethically benefit from those who do have such an imagination. And if these fictional materials were more plentiful and easier to access, would there be fewer communities that host sexually harmful imagery?

Looking Towards The Future

Sorry, I do not have a crystal ball. I cannot tell you what the future of minor-attracted people will look like. I can tell you what I hope for. I hope for a world where minor-attracted people can go to their school counselor, tell them they are a pedophile, and get appropriate resources and referrals to peer support. I hope for a world where a teenager can tell their parent they are minor-attracted, and that parent knows how to be supportive to that teenager. I hope for a world when we all know a minor-attracted coworker and we treat them with the same dignity and respect we treat anyone else with – not because the law requires it, but because it is the right thing to do.

But most of all, I hope for a world where minor-attracted people can come together until we have that reality. That requires us to put aside our differences over non-essential issues, and get to work on showing the world that we are worthy to be treated as human beings that do not inherently want to harm children. I hope for a world where people who are not minor-attracted can help support us in that endeavor.

The post A History of Minor-Attracted People And Our Forward Progress Towards Acceptance: Part 1 appeared first on Pedophiles About Pedophilia.

On Friday, September 18th, 2020, Twitter suspended MAP Support Club, a support network for minor attracted people:

If minor attracted people are supposed to get help, then why deplatform an account that provides support to minor attracted people and partners with child protection organizations? To understand this question, we must touch on a few things, most importantly…

What Is MAP Support Club?

MAP Support Club is a support chat run by several long-time members of the MAP community, aimed at anyone age 13 and up. In their own words, “MAP Support Club (MSC) is a community for minor attracted people (MAPs) who are fundamentally against child sexual abuse and committed to never harm children.”

What kind of content does MAP Support Club host, and what do people talk about? The occasional television clip, YouTube video, news article, or humor might pepper different sections of the chat, but mostly people write in text form about a wide variety of subjects. There are several private channels for people to discuss trans issues, people who were victimized by sexual violence or other childhood trauma. It is a support chat, and they limit discussions that can interfere with people giving or receiving support.

Their rules to that effect are comprehensive – many minor attracted people have even called them restrictive – and it is a community that uses Microsoft PhotoDNA, a software that scans images uploaded to the server against hash databases maintained by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC). Many members of MAP Support Club were not pleased with this change, but the administrators felt it was a necessary addition because of the potential for bad actors, trolls, and of course the protection of children.

MAP Support Club partners with Prostasia Foundation, who provides hosting and enabled them to use the PhotoDNA software on the Rocket.Chat platform they call home. Members of MAP Support Club talk about a wide range of issues – anything from how members can seek out competent, qualified therapists that they can feel safe with to news and politics. This support platform has helped many people come to terms with their attractions and find appropriate ways to manage the stigma, anxiety, and depression that minor attracted people often struggle with.

In short, MAP Support Club is a place for minor attracted people to be themselves in a world that hates them. If you want more information on how they run things, check out this webinar:

Conspiracy Theorists Attack

On July 22nd, Twitter announced that they would be specifically targeting Qanon accounts because of the potential to lead to offline harm:

Two weeks of intense harassment followed from these conspiracy theorists with claims that Twitter allowed accounts that supposedly promote the rape of children – when in fact these accounts (Pedophiles About Pedophilia and MAP Support Club) are very clear that they are against harm to children and merely want to raise awareness that there is not enough help available for minor attracted people.

These are not the only such accounts:

To the average person, it may seem wise to suspend the accounts of minor attracted people. Yet not only have experts and members of the media (even Psychology Today) said otherwise, Twitter themselves promise that simply being minor attracted or talking about minor attraction is not enough to violate their policies:

This is not the first time MAP Support Club has faced censorship. In 2018, despite the protestations of many experts, Discord shut down MAP Support Club, forcing them to find a new home on Rocket.Chat.

Twitter Must Cease Its Suspension Campaign

Over the course of the last year, Twitter has suspended the accounts of at least 77 minor attracted people – and those are just the suspensions the community is aware of. We know this because we have taken great efforts to log these suspensions, many of which are listed in a prior article and open letter about the efforts Twitter must take to remove hatred and harassment. These appeals have fallen upon deaf ears, it seems.

If Twitter cares about protecting children, then they must do what is right, not what is popular. It may have been popular to have slaves in the 1600’s, but that does not make it right. It may have been popular to confuse minor attraction with child sexual abuse, yet prominent child protection experts are clear that such confusion makes it harder to prevent sexual abuse.

Twitter must cease suspending minor attracted people and instead do more to combat hate and harassment. Twitter must reinstate accounts it has unfairly and inexplicably suspended.

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However, that does not mean that this is our time to rise up and demand changes to how we are treated. The focus on divesting from police and investing in each of our communities is enough for now. Why? Because we cannot attempt to join or drown out the voices of other minorities by stealing their spotlight. These are issues that have been affecting black and brown humans for years, and this is their time and moment to be heard, not ours.

The most effective thing we can do right now is write our representatives, join protests – whether via social media or by marching with other movements – and join the numerous voices calling for an end to police-based communities and a start to investing in the integrity of our communities. That change has needed to happen for some time, and we need to put the focus on making that change, not using this moment to our own benefit.

What you do ultimately is up to you, but bear in mind that what you do WILL reflect on the entire MAP community and act responsibly.

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Are there people online taking advantage of children sexually? Absolutely! But the thing is, this is not as common as some fear-mongering groups would have you think, and once an organization gets you scared enough, you tend to stop thinking critically about the topic. Some suggest that as many as one in five children are solicited for sex online. But several sources debunk that suggestion (here, and here).

While this will rise during the shelter-in-place orders across many states and the new normal of physical distancing to prevent the spread of the virus, the situation is not as dire as some might have you believe, and not only that, there are much better ways to stop the sexual abuse of children than just reporting it when you see it online or find out about it.

Approaches To Sexual Violence That Do Not Work

Right, you would never use a wrench to pound a nail or a hammer on a screw, so why would we use approaches to sexual violence that do not work? Because we have been systemically conditioned to think law enforcement = public safety, and that the police keep us safe. Any person belonging to an ethnic minority group can tell you that is not true. Take for example:

We know that police reaction to sexual violence does not work. Why do we know that? Several reasons:

1. It relies on people reporting abuse. Most do not report the abuse because they know the criminal justice system is often overly harsh and do not want to see their loved one harmed by that system, and most sexual violence – 80% of sexual assault and 93% of child sexual abuse – is perpetrated by a friend or family member, not a stranger.
2. It relies on the idea that most sexual violence is perpetrated by someone previously arrested for sexual crime. In fact, most sexual harm is not perpetrated by those with prior convictions, and most who do have convictions and reoffend do so with a technical violation of their supervision requirements. In other words, they watched porn, or they were late to a probation/parole meeting, or they missed a curfew by ten minutes.
3. Most sexual assault is not, in fact, investigated by the police. This ranges from rape kits not being tested to botched investigations to sexual assault that is perpetrated by police. In some jurisdictions, police can have sex with sex workers in order to secure an arrest/conviction, which many advocates would label sexual assault, not to mention the sexual assault that the criminal justice system turns a blind eye to in jails and prisons.
4. The issue of authority: We are conditioned to trust authority figures like the police and government officials, but these authority figures are not immune to perpetrating, ignoring, or mishandling sexual violence. It also teaches children from an early age that these authority figures get to do what they want with zero consequences, even if what they do is not right.

There are many more reasons why police reaction to sexual violence is inadequate as an approach to dealing with sexual violence. This is not to say perpetrators of sexual violence should not be held accountable and responsible for their actions – they absolutely should! However, most criminal justice systems are not equipped to handle the unique needs of survivors, perpetrators, or the surrounding community. There is some discussion around restorative justice circles being one possibility survivors can pursue.

The Details Of Genuine Prevention

Genuine prevention is not using a misrepresented statistic to scare parents into doing things to protect their kids. It is not painting all pedophiles as if they all harm children, and it is not dismissing the voices of minor attracted people who have said for years that we must do more to prevent abuse – without using us as scapegoats. We cannot simply react to sexual abuse and hope to stop the problem. That simply does not work.

Genuine prevention educates the entire community and provides resources for all – yes, all. Even the “drug addict” you hate because you think they are a blight on society. Even the “criminal” that you think is violent, but really just enjoys a nice cup of coffee in the morning. Even the people you hate. Withholding preventative education because “muh freedoms” or because “we can’t teach kids about THAT” is irresponsible and unethical. So what do education and resources look like?

Education means learning the facts: Why, how, and under what circumstances does child sexual abuse happen? Who perpetrates it? How much of sexual abuse is about sex, and how much of it is about meeting some unmet psychological need? Why do people turn to sexual harm instead of getting their needs met in other ways? These facts must be learned at the community-wide level, and yes, that includes children at age-appropriate levels.

For example, up until age five, children can be taught about genitals using their real names – penis, vagina, anus, breasts, etc – and taught that no one gets to touch any part of their body without their permission, and if someone does, they have a right to tell them to stop or tell someone they trust about it. They can and should be taught about sex at age-appropriate levels: What body parts do what, what healthy friendships, relationships, and boundaries look like, some of the warning signs of intimate partner violence and the signs of an abusive relationship, and beyond.

Every person in the community should know where they can go to find resources specific to a given issue. For example, if someone lives in St. Cloud, MN, they should know that they can go to Anna Marie’s Alliance for domestic violence issues, or to CentraCare for sexual health issues. These resources should be talked about openly.

The Why

Why? What does any of that have to do with preventing sexual abuse? Well, preventing sexual abuse before it happens means intervening before someone gets desperate or distressed enough to be sexual with a child, whether in person or online. It means people need to know what their resources are before they get to the point of distress, because when they reach that point, they will fall back on what they already know and it becomes harder to reach out to new sources for help. Even if all they have is knowing a crisis line exists, that can be a helpful step.

That includes minor attracted people, and right now, for someone to come forward and say, “I have a sexual attraction to children and I want help with this,” risks a myriad of extremely negative consequences.

Some of these consequences are being beaten up by schoolmates, or even by school staff. Being outed to the entire community as a sexual predator, in the absence of any sexual harm done. Losing one’s job or housing. Being reported to the police by a therapist who is not familiar with minor attracted people or how to help us.

So, helping minor attracted people build our own law-abiding communities is an essential part of preventing sexual abuse. This is not because minor attracted people are doomed to offend or because there is any increased risk of perpetration, but because us having spaces to give and receive support is essential for every single human being on the planet. Every one of us does better with support, and shame does not help anyone seek help, it generally pushes people away from it.

MAP Support Club

MAP Support Club is a community of law-abiding minor attracted people dedicated to keeping ourselves positive and in good spirits. We have a robust set of rules, policies, and take care of our member’s privacy. Launching this summer, we will have our own full website with an automatic invitation form process. For now, we rely on Google forms and some of our resources are temporarily listed on our blog. If you are a minor attracted person, please use the following information to join:

1. Go the link.
2. Enter the password: iourKy
3. Fill out the rest of the required fields
4. Optionally participate in some extra questions (for science!)
5. Submit the form

You will want to keep these safety and privacy processes in mind if you join. We do not have an onboarding process for MAP allies and select for ourselves those we wish to add.

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A Theory And Two Pictures

This story starts with a theory that D33 shared with me, and my initial reaction was roughly, “Oh God, D33 is telling me about a conspiracy theory suggesting these people are the same person.” The problem is, it turned out to be no wacky theory, it turned out to be true. Someone in a community that D33 shares found out directly from the person behind several aliases in the MAP community that they – most commonly known as Rainbow – were posing as several aliases, or sock puppets.

Naturally, the person who met Rainbow got suspicious about some things after that. So D33 asks me in DM if I could share some pictures with people who might know what Rainbow looks like. I shared one – and they were pretty certain that was Rainbow. So I shared another, and again they were pretty certain.

Except those were images that Khed shared with people.

At this point, the person – who I will refer to as Rainbow for simplicity – has admitted to operating these personas to a group of people who are staff in various communities.

Motive?

After confirming the initial two pictures, we put together a group chat of 8 people from multiple servers to discuss it further, and we confirmed their identities as the following: Khed, bbyodakid, Slaughter’s Laughter/J, and Rainbow. The stated reason by Rainbow was that they simply wanted attention, and that getting that attention is partly how they coped with depression, not to be malicious and not to be cruel. This individual already has a therapist.

Drama Fallout

Essentially, at this point, one thing is especially clear: “Rainbow” did not attempt suicide. There may be more deceptions connected to these aliases that have led to people in the community being hurt and feeling ostracized.

Allegations were made against me for supposedly being pro-contact. My views on the contact issue have not changed in four years. It is unlikely that my views will change, though part of my mission is to ensure people have support. That cannot happen if groups of people are so stigmatized they feel they cannot access support. That includes shaming and ostracizing people for having pro-contact views. I believe the narrow path, the one where we ignore views we disagree with and support the person when they need support, is the correct one.

Moving Forward

This person has been banned from MAP Support Club, and from another community. I personally feel that they should be welcome – as themselves – to still talk to whoever is willing to support them, on an individual basis. I am willing to support their mental health, if they choose to seek it. I do not support the deception or the harm that they caused. I hope they realize the magnitude of the pain they have brought on so many people. However, I could not stand by my mission statement – or the mental health support of people I disagree with, or the mental health support I believe those who commit sexual offenses deserve – if I did not extend that same mental health support to “Rainbow.”

Rainbow has indicated a desire to delete all of their personas and leave the community. However, I personally hope that they continue to reach out to people to support their mental health and better themselves as a person.

As a natural result of this, some of you might have question of whether or not the MAP community is safe. I believe it is, when we follow best practices and each take responsibility for safeguarding our information and our privacy. One of those best practices is not sharing information with people until you have known them for at least several months, if not over a year. That best practice would not have helped in this particular case, but it is still a good practice to observe.

I will be staying. I have no reason to believe that Rainbow ever intended to use any information they had. I knew there would be difficult situations when I entered this community, and this situation was not the first and I am sure will not be the last. So again, take some time off, get support, talk to people, and come back refreshed.

The post A Community-Wide Deception appeared first on Pedophiles About Pedophilia.

Timothy N. Fury

With ideas from many generations who came before me that are too numerous to name, and many people who I sought feedback from. Huge thanks to all of you!

Preamble

This guide details what I have learned on social media, from what works in creating MAP awareness, and what does not, so the bulk of this guide applies a little more to social media than other venues. This guide contains observations and strategic information that may be used to start what I believe will be the ultimate destigmatization of minor attraction and minor attracted people. This strategy plays the long game and requires patience.

Mental Health Warning

For each individual following this strategy guide there will be a toll on your mental health and you will need a support system in place in real life. If you do not have a real life support such as an understanding close friend, partner, or loved one, or at the very least see a therapist who knows about your attractions and is supportive, do not participate in this strategy, and close/delete this document permanently from your system. The very last thing I want to see is someone kill themselves because they did not have the proper supports while using this strategy guide.

Vision

To start a movement of minor attracted people who refuse to be silent about our shared humanity and push society to accept us, warts and all, using a comprehensive strategy and spin a narrative that works to accomplish this. Full stop. This will not look like a civil rights protest, this will look like a snowball rolling downhill, picking up more snow and momentum with one unstoppable goal: People treating us as human beings. We do not approve of sexual harm to children under any circumstances.

Spun Narrative

Any goals around ideology and “rights” are not a direct part of this movement, as this particular movement is to lay the groundwork for that (presuming rights to mean destigmatization of attraction, support, humanization, etc.). Also, people will automatically hear “they want sex with kids” if we put minor attraction and rights together in the same sentence – we need to find positive ways to say this that people will listen to and hear what we actually want, not project what they think we want onto our words and real positions. In other words, we need to make our narrative as spin-proof as possible to ensure the message we want to send is the one people are hearing.

This vision will be best accomplished by publicly adopting a reasonable anti-abuse/sexual violence prevention position that does not condemn people for struggling with images (even if that is a struggle you cannot relate to, take the time to listen to those who have in private), but does condemn abusing kids. No further nuance should be needed in public. There have been many voices that supposedly seek to shift the “overton window” and in doing so have harmed our humanization movement.

There may be the occasional statement about sex abuse prevention being a systemic and multi-pronged approach that is complex, but those complexities are for professionals, not the public. The public tends to simplify complex information, and in this case, that works against us because their simplifications will end up being caricatures of what we really want.

The narrative being pushed is that we, as a group, are against the sexual abuse of children and would be valuable allies in combating and preventing sexual violence, and that we refuse to be silent or shame/stigmatize ourselves for our attractions. All public messaging should revolve around those principles.

Applicable Ideas From Military Strategy

These are a few principles from military strategy that are good to know and remember:

1. Know your enemy – Know what people who want to stigmatize us will say ahead of time, and know what kind of arguments they will use (emotion-based propaganda, not logical arguments).
2. Divide and conquer – Know how this strategy can be used against us (and is already being used against us by trolling, both the obvious and not-so-obvious), and realize that not every social media account is who they say they are. The goal of the enemy is to divide us against one another. Those enemies do not only come from the outside, they can come from within.
3. Protect the medic – Protect your healers from enemy influence. In this case, protect the mental health of the most hard-hitting advocates, amplify their voices as much as possible, and protect the mental health of those who help others.
4. Watch your flanks – Do not fall into the trap of getting so focused on one aspect that you miss the entire picture. This includes engaging with trolls who are actively trying to distract you from your end-goals by using short-term tactics intended to irritate you.
5. Psychological warfare – People WILL try to use this against you. Be aware of what it is: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_warfare
6. Knowledge is power – Think of all information as valuable, and use it, talk about it, and share it whenever you have the opportunity.
7. Do not fully commit – This is a little more difficult, but essentially, you do not want to fully commit all or most of your resources to any assault, period. You want to ensure you have backup strategy in place to handle contingencies and adapt to the situation until you know you can win, and the winning strategy is unique to every different situation. In other words, if all you do is attempt a head-on assault with no alternate strategy, you will be in for a long slog that may lead to dire consequences.

For a more exhaustive list, please consult here and here.

Basic Starting Principles

The principles of this strategy guide to remaining safe and free from severe harassment or worse are as follows. This is not a guide to hiding from governments or law enforcement and we will never publish such a guide.

1. Practice good internet security, and safeguard your sensitive information carefully. Avoid using services like Google, Microsoft, Yahoo, etc. Opt for better email providers like Tutanota and Protonmail, and switch over if you can. Relevant resources:
   1. https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/d3devm/motherboard-guide-to-not-getting-hacked-online-safety-guide
   2. https://keepass.info/download.html
   3. http://privacytools.io/
2. Ensure you are pseudonymous: Safeguarding your identity and safety is YOUR responsibility. Principles:
   1. No real names, period. Make a name meaningful to you, but sensible, or use a name generator until you find one you like.
   2. That tip about emails? Use a separate one from your real life identity.
   3. Do not use a nickname that is in any way tied to your real identity.
   4. Get to know people for months before you even think about identifying yourself or your specific location. Stick to states, countries, or territories, not cities/towns/villages. Even then, know that once you share that information with someone, you cannot take it back and they can share that information. Make sure you know they really are who they say they are. Avoid pissing those people off.
   5. Never, ever click shortened links, otherwise use a link unshortening service to identify where the link leads first. Do not click on suspicious emails or download attachments from people you do not know.
   6. If you choose to be on social media as a MAP, then know that if your posting styles between your real accounts and your MAP account can be easily compared. Use a different writing style and watch what you share. Or better yet, delete your real-life social media accounts entirely.
3. With that being said, social media is not required. Stick to known and trusted communities, even if you disagree with their philosophies. Build bridges and love, not strife and animosity. Help your fellow MAPs. Virtuous Pedophiles and MAP Support Club run secure operations with knowledgeable people, there are many others. Avoid Discord. Surround yourself with support and positivity. Do not get baited into participating in community drama.
4. Control the narrative on our terms, not society’s. Play by what works to catch the kind of attention we want. Do not operate with the line that “any publicity is good publicity,” as in our case, this is not true. Do not argue from facts wherever possible – only answer questions from those curious about what the facts and research are, or when dealing with a so-called expert. For most, differ from experience, use anecdotal evidence. Appeal to emotion, not logic. We are your neighbors, sons, daughters, coworkers, friends, and family.
5. Stop fighting battles that are currently not feasible. Picture military strategy: You do not want to get caught into a long gun battle, you want to strategically control the battle on YOUR terms to end the engagement as quickly as possible. As such, we need to avoid the following:
   1. Arguing with trolls in long drawn-out threads. Please read Kamil Beylant’s guide to identifying them, and familiarize yourself with it. https://justpaste.it/darkartsdefensetrolls Be willing to block them or ignore them without responding. Mass replies to trolls only makes their comment more prominent because of how social media algorithms work. This can also be used in reverse by posting provocative stuff like “Minor attracted people deserve support.” on high-profile videos, tweets, posts, accounts, etc.
   2. Using text-only options of spreading the word. Talk to people in your real life with small conversations, feel out who you can come out to and who you cannot (more tips), use podcasts and put together videos and images. Make memes. Get creative!
   3. Publicly nitpicking the words pedophile/pedophilia, especially in news reports. There will be time for this later. If you really must correct, email the media organization before you complain on social media. Use minor attraction and minor attracted people when in public, no acronyms except in hashtags. Avoid using the technical jargon like pedophile/hebephile, etc. Keep it simple.
   4. Nitpicking facts. The facts are not what most people base their decisions on (check their feed and profile first). They base their decisions on emotion, so you need to use things they can emotionally relate to. Some concrete examples of how to respond with emotion:
      1. Anti: “You’re a sick motherfucker! I hope you kill yourself!” You: “If I was your child, would you still want me dead?” Then stop engaging.
      2. Anti: “Minor attraction? You mean pedophilia!” You: “Don’t tell me what I mean and what I don’t mean, that’s rude.”
      3. Anti: “Well, most pedophiles reoffend, so you need to be shot or locked up!” You: “So it’s okay for me to assume you’re a rapist too? Okay boomer.”
6. Use clear communication. Never use acronyms or jargon when you can spell out the meaning clearly and concisely. Minor attracted people, not MAPs. Non-offending, not NO. Etc.
7. Patience, and lots of it. Keep the end goal in mind, and no matter how frustrated you get, do not let anyone see it publicly in the heat of the moment. There are times and places for that anger. I am not suggesting to not be emotional – just pick the right moments for doing so, not when you are mid-discussion or during an interview with the media. Also, by contrast, avoid closing yourself off from support by never talking to people when something is bothering you.
8. Stop arguing. It does not work with most people. Check someone’s profile before you respond and know who the logical people are before you hit send and respond accordingly. With most people, tell stories. Talk about your story. Talk about how you came to realize you are minor attracted and what it means for you. Talk about your struggles, your moral quandaries, your difficult relationships. Encourage people you have told in your life to tell their stories. Be real. Be raw. Be genuine. We need storytellers. But above all, do not let anyone who is not close to you tell you how to tell your story. It should be real, raw, and humanizing. It should be yours.

Short-Term Strategy

When I say short-term, I mean that this process will take anywhere from months up to years, depending on how smoothly this goes. How smoothly this goes is up to you. Take responsibility for it! Own it! Be passionate about it!

The short-term strategy is to grow. That will happen naturally as word spreads and communities get more and more established and connected. We need to build a strong network for ourselves. Leave connecting with professionals to those familiar with it, and get connected to those people if you are interested to learn the ropes. Use what you are good at – do not try to be someone you are not. If you idolize particular advocates, talk to them honestly. “I idolize you because _____, I’d like to learn more about what you do. Help me learn.”

Those of you who are not familiar with marketing concepts and how social media algorithms work: Learn them. Watch commercials. Watch videos on marketing and sales. Share and talk about these resources in your communities. Know how Russia interfered with US elections in 2016 and tried again leading up to 2020. Yes, you read that right. Create a separate advocacy account or sanitize a current account: Eliminate any “creepy” or NSFW material like porn, YouTube videos, etc.

I realize this next part will be difficult for some and will run contrary to the personal convictions of many. My personal beliefs on this part have not changed. In order to address this, I will not direct my comments to any one ideology, side, etc. Picture me as neutral. I am Switzerland.

Enough with the “contact war” from ALL angles. Agree with the majority view that child sexual abuse is harmful when in public, stop the public bickering over policy nuance, and leave those nuances to private communities or direct messages whenever possible. I realize for some, even many, that is a sacrifice and may seem intellectually dishonest. I believe it is currently a necessary one. Flippantly toss aside the trolls that ask you, “Well, how do you define child sexual abuse?” with a simple “You need me to define sexual assault for you? I’m calling the police.”

People following this strategy will be forced to either condemn or ignore viewpoints that seem to promote sexual abuse in public, and this will have consequences for ALL of us. We have already seen some of these consequences, as it is easy for most to dismiss both sides when they see the bickering or to imply that all MAPs believe sex abuse is okay. The better state would be if those viewpoints were not shared publicly and we call on all sides a temporary cessation of bickering in public or the “contact war” about it at least until the long-term goals and vision of this strategy have been achieved if not slightly longer. Keep it to private communities wherever possible. The purpose of this is not to hide our warts, but to spin-proof the movement as much as possible.

In order to grow, we absolutely must stop bickering and starting drama with each other. That bickering is why the “antis” are so successful at trolling our communities. We need to stop bickering publicly among ourselves in terms of those moral discussions. Right now, pro/anti contact is a religious moral belief, with frequently used terms or labels regarding who is “Lutheran” or “Orthodox” or “Buddhist” or “Islamic” or “Jewish” etc. In November and December 2019, I ran a project to address these labels. This is not to say anyone following this strategy is required to interact with people they do not want to. This is to say that we are holding good progress back by being public with these disagreements. Divide and conquer IS a strategy that is CURRENTLY being used against us.

This means no more calling people out for perceived immoral behavior or their contact stance and starting drama and fights, no more publicly airing grievances on Twitter, no more outing people as pro/anti contact, no more accusations of viewing child pornography, etc. If you have an issue with someone, do your best to clearly communicate what it is with them privately. Realize that some of us, particularly those connected with professionals, may say things a certain way in public to send a strong message to the right people or otherwise make political moves. Some of us, like myself, are constrained by many things that may not be visible to you, or they may be constrained by confidentiality. Talk to them in private and hold your anger as much as you can. Realize that their response may not be about you at all.

My general rule of advice short-term is to not identify yourself directly as a minor attracted person in your profile, or if you do, phrase it positively in a way that is perfectly clear (for example, “I am a human being with an attraction to minors, an interest in death metal, and I love reading romance novels”). Put your humanity first wherever possible. Tell people about some of your interests while being careful to not be too specific (safety first, come out at your choosing, not theirs). Joke around. Laugh. Be yourself. Shitpost. We need to build a cooperative community, particularly in public, and we need to stabilize as a community that supports one another. In other words, minor attraction should not be your only topic. Talk about other things! Be human! It is very weird, even for a topical social media account, to focus so much on such a niche topic without talking about other things!

If you have a Twitter account, seek out sex workers to follow and observe how they interact with and support one another. Notice how they frame the issue as if they are fighting for their very existence and the right to participate meaningfully in society. We need to build a community like this, only aimed at getting support for us all with dire consequences – suicide, mental health issues, etc – if that support is not available. Our shared humanity and struggles are more important than political bickering in public.

This is NOT to say that there will not be drama or politics involved in our community (of course there will!), but the goal should be to keep drama and politics in private spaces and out of the public eye, or as much as possible resolved privately between two individuals, maybe even seek out a mediator if need be. If that means not interacting with each other because you simply cannot get along or acting like two people at an office who can work together but secretly hate each other’s guts, do it. But in public, be civil to each other under all circumstances wherever possible or simply block each other.

Some of us like me have already built on a platform of critiquing organizations for ineffective policies and such – leave that to us and let us take the heat for that, it will take attention off the movement and momentum we are trying to build. Some of you will think those critiques do not go far enough – those of us already doing this know the territory and know what will be effective in acting as “bait” to draw the attention and outrage away from the main movement and the main goal. We know perfectly well what the ideal end-goal is, but you cannot force everyone to get there immediately.

Short-Term Coming Out Preparations

Some of the above is in preparation for a worldwide coming out day. This section is for preparations you will need to take ahead of time if you wish to participate in the first worldwide minor attracted people coming out day (first date to be determined, DO NOT COME OUT WITHOUT SERIOUS CONSIDERATION) and have it be safe and successful. If you are a minor, ignore this section. Tips (some may be location-specific beyond the United States, in which case you may need to do some digging for your own location):

• Visit people search engines (there are many) and remove yourself and your loved ones. Many times this can be done for free, though there are reputation services that will assist in this process for a fee. Further reading: https://www.reputationdefender.com/blog/privacy/how-to-remove-public-records-from-the-internet-in-five-steps
• Per the above guide, get a PO box and reroute any public records to your PO box rather than your home address.
• Along those same lines, do NOT build up online resumes or LinkedIn profiles to avoid people finding out where you work. Safeguarding your privacy ahead of time is the best way to protect it.
• Talk to anyone you could potentially come out to before you actually do it. I give some guidance on that here: https://aboutpedophilia.com/2018/09/01/the-complexities-of-a-pedophile-coming-out/ Be aware that who you tell can share that information if they choose, so get to know the person and share wisely. Talk to your friends, family members, and neighbors to feel out how they think about similar issues. Know who the bigots are and who the listeners are ahead of time, before you share your attractions.
• This was said at the very beginning, but it bears repeating: Have a good support system. People will attempt to harass you, people will try to discourage you, and they will resort to any trick they can try. The purpose of this section is to mitigate those tricks. These tricks WILL have an effect on your mental health. Some of these tricks include:
  • Bullying in school
  • Parents having concerns about MAPs being around kids (even if same age, and including your own parents)
  • Finding your workplace and harassing your boss
• Know that once you come out, there is no rewind button. Your name, face, and information WILL spread across the internet and WILL go before your friends, family, neighbors, bosses, etc. Talk to them ahead of time.
• Expect harassment and abusive comments, and be prepared to completely ignore them or report them to law enforcement in your jurisdiction. Expect people to accuse you of abusing kids, and plan your activities accordingly – stay away from children, so that your best defense is rock-solid.
• Contact law enforcement in your jurisdiction and tell them there is a possibility you could be harassed online.
• Build up a social media account under a pseudonym and make it clear with that account that you are against abuse. Follow abuse prevention organizations, do some virtue signaling if you have to. Maybe even share a mugshot story every now and then, as comfortable. Then, when you come out, change your name and profile picture to yourself.

Long-Term Strategy

The long-term strategy involves solidifying the idea that minor attracted people are against sexual abuse and are your friends, family, son, daughter, mom, dad, neighbor, loved one. That is all. No need for nuance, no need for complexity, just that. Like a job applicant or a politician, you are marketing yourself to give off a particular image: A human being who people can relate to.

Part of the long-term strategy is picking a good year to do a “worldwide coming out day” in which people come out as minor attracted publicly. The first year WILL be difficult, and deciding on which year will need to depend on how the short-term strategy evolves and how quickly. This section will be expanded on at a later date as the short-term strategy evolves.

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First and most importantly, keep yourself safe. This guide has a slew of tips and resources for you. Read all of it before you continue, preferably before you create your first account. Seriously – your security matters, and even if you find that guide dry and boring, I assume for the rest of this that you have read it and understood it and will not be repeating it here.

Secondly, if you have other social media accounts, know your posting style and the topics you cover. If you overlap between your MAP account and your real-life account, people can and will notice. In fact, one MAP was recently confronted by a good friend of theirs because of this, and they ended up having a conversation with all of their friends and family. So… do not overlap completely with your real-life interests. Keep some of them vague, use a different writing style, and try not to put too much personality into your postings.

Interface

Twitter’s interface is pretty straightforward. You write tweets organically, they are called, well, tweets. If you put someone else’s tweet on your feed, that is called a retweet. The heart button is the like button (no, there is no dislike or edit button, sorry). If you “retweet with comment” that is called a quote-tweet.

You will want to check your privacy settings to ensure people cannot find you by your phone number, that you have no phone number on the account, and whatever else is to your liking. It is generally good to turn off Twitter’s quality control.

It is here that we must get into good netiquette. This is the long version. I really, really suggest you read it. Twitter’s enforcement of its policies can seem arbitrary, and many MAPs wind up suspended with zero reason given, but can be tied back to rule violations of varying kinds, so let me get into the short version (you really should still read the long version though).

• Avoid harassing people or hating people or a group of people
  • This one is the biggest. Quote-tweeting someone and attacking them as a person can make you subject to this policy. Address their behavior or content, and try to avoid attacking them as a person. “You’re a stupid bitch” is an easy violation whereas “That was a silly take, did you think about that before you posted it” is no violation at all.
• Avoid using strong language
  • Shush, I know, piss off. I do it too. But the thing is, if you get in the habit of using strong language, you might slip up and use that strong language to hate or harass people, and all of the sudden ZAP there goes your account or you get locked out for awhile.

Harassment

Nothing really prepares you for being harassed, in real life or online. For any kind of severe harassment (particularly when you have a real name of the perpetrator), keep records and report anything threatening to the police. However, there are a few different scenarios I need to address because each have their own separate response:

1. Mass harassment from trolls
   1. Use your block button repeatedly. People can and will report anything you say, and being mass harassed or getting called out before a big-name troll account with lots of followers is a sure sign you need to start blocking people. Do not even bother responding. Responding will only add fuel to their harassment.
2. Someone attempting to hack your account
   1. Prevent this! Go to settings > account > security > password reset protection. Change your password every few months and use a password manager. If you get an email requesting a password reset and you did not request the reset, do not click the link.
   2. Know what phishing scams are and what real emails from real companies look like vs emails that are fake. Read your email headers. Do not just use a password manager for Twitter, use it for every single online account you have.
   3. Read all of this and follow their advice. Again, prevention – do this now.
3. Somebody finding out sensitive information about you
   1. They might use it to force you to do things, they might threaten to share it publicly, etc. In this case, you are best off calling their bluff – share the information anyways! Talk to the people you are closest with, tell them about it. Meanwhile, play along with the person, or better yet, do not reply at all. They get sadistic pleasure out of watching you squirm – so do not give them the satisfaction.
4. Separate from number 3, someone doxxing you
   1. Make your account private (settings > privacy and safety > protect your tweets).
   2. Report it.
   3. Get ahead of it. Talk to friends and family members, tell them you are a minor attracted person and you have no desire to harm kids, etc.
   4. Do not respond to any harassment.

In general, the goal of harassment is to get any kind of a response out of you that the perpetrator can use to further harass you. Their goal is to make you miserable, and they will not be rational. Anticipate some level of harassment and simply block/report anyone being rude or hostile towards you for any reason. Replying and reporting makes the report null and void, though, so try to avoid doing both.

Beyond TOS

Some general advice to keep your Twitter experience tolerable and using the algorithms to your advantage:

• Check the profile of the person you are responding to first
  • Bear in mind that, “Trolls exist. They steal your socks. But only the left ones, what’s with that?” In all seriousness, look over their content, usually 2-3 scrolls will do. Is it largely political and only directed at one person? Is it mostly hate? Then do not bother.
• Use your block button
  • The purpose of the block button is not hiding your tweets from people (anyone can use an alt or browse without being logged in), it is to use Twitter’s algorithms to your advantage. If @JoeyShmoe reports @FredFlintstone, the system will determine if it is or is not a likely violation. If Fred has Joey blocked, the system will not make a determination and respond with no violation. Blocking takes the power out of mass reporting campaigns. Personally, I block premptively whenever I see problematic/harassing accounts come across my feed.
• Remember that like a cop, “Anything you say on Twitter can and will be used against you for all eternity because the internet.”
• Limit your replies to people
  • This may seem counterintuitive. More is better, right? Not always. The further you go in a conversation on Twitter – really anything beyond 2-3 replies – the fewer impressions you get from it, so unless you are having a civil and respectful conversation where you and others are listening to each other, there is no real reason to go beyond 2-3 replies. That time and energy will be better spent elsewhere.
  • Avoid replying to obviously bad takes – advocating death/violence/genocide, clearly abusive insults, etc. Quote-tweeting is fine, but replying has more power to bump their tweet up in the rankings than retweets or likes.
• Cover more than just MAP issues and reply to big-name accounts
  • Especially politicians. Why? Because people interact with big accounts with lots of followers, particularly famous people and your account becomes more visible, particularly if it is popular or controversial.

Twitter’s Double-Standards

You should expect that Twitter will not play fairly with suspensions and rule violations. Twitter’s enforcement of their rules are already arbitrary at best, and the accounts that fling hate and harassment our way often take repeated waves of reporting to finally be suspended where with MAP accounts, all it seems to take is a single violation. Therefore, you must expect that your tweets will be under more scrutiny than other accounts on Twitter, and you must tweet responsibly.

Know Twitter’s terms of service and follow them. Do not bypass suspensions until it has been a month without any reply regarding your initial suspension. Have backup communities – like MAP Support Club, Riot communities, Discord groups, forums, etc – where you can connect with others if your access to Twitter is suddenly revoked.

Community Netiquette

It should perhaps go without saying, but there are some general rules that you should follow. If you are in a group chat or private MAP community of some kind, it is wise to keep the happenings of that community inside that community. Taking screenshots and sharing them outside the community without a very good reason for it – for example, someone is unrepentantly abusing children – is generally grounds for banning in most communities and is viewed with a high degree of scrutiny.

Attacking other MAPs, regardless of the reason, is viewed much the same way. Without a really, really good reason to it, all you do is earn the ire of many people and risk being cancelled yourself for it. Unfounded accusations? Expect people to start hating you. So, be civil. If you cannot be civil, do not engage. Block, ignore, whatever you need to do. Nobody wants to have to wade into your drama and tell you to stop acting like a jerk, myself especially. It gets old. Be mature and walk away if you cannot get along. If we spent half the energy setting a good tone for advocacy that we do bickering, we would get much further.

Miscellaneous Notes On Effective Advocacy

I saved this for last because these are things you can honestly do whatever you like with. Think about it, do something about it, let it inform how you advocate, whatever. You do you!

1. Do not validate myths and bad takes
   1. In other words, do not reply to the trolls, and in particular, do not re-say what they said in different words. All you are doing is reinforcing what the audience thinks and bringing those ideas before a wider audience.
   2. Ignore these bad takes or better yet, come up with a rebuttal that does not mention the source or the myths at all. Simply state your truth and support it as best you can.
2. Try to avoid using the words “pedophile” and “pedophilia”
   1. I generally stick to minor attracted people/person and minor attraction, as it is clearer and harder for trolls to spin. I do not even use acronyms unless my target audience is other MAPs.
3. About overtly stating your DM’s are open in your profile…
   1. …you should probably not do that for a few reasons. If people want to message you they see a little envelope icon if you have that enabled, so stating it is redundant. But more importantly, people might take it as, “Wink wink, nudge nudge, hey, send me some good stuff, know what I mean?” Probably not your goal in doing that, so…
4. Arguing
   1. Look at someone’s profile first. Are they the intellectual type of person? Then argue! Debate! Discuss! But if not, trying to open a discussion with them is really pointless – try to make emotional appeals instead.

So, there you have it, some general ideas on how to stay on Twitter and be effective at spreading the message. If you liked these tips and want more, get a hold of me.

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